Devils Walk in the Strawberry Fields: Gardenia 2
by ShinwaWhorebot
Summary: Mana was forced to leave paradise to save the love of his life. Her story had a happy ending, but his... not so much. This is a tell all with Mana, about what really happened in Gardenia. A follow up to "A Little Glimpse of Heaven".
1. Chapter 1

So, you remember the story of Alice and I, where I wasted my life dreaming of perfection, and the lack of it in my life drove me to commit suicide. I had to escape Gardenia, and leave the love of my life behind. Not too much of a happy ending. Well, not for me anyways. Because the story didn't revolved around me. Not that it was supposed to. I am Mana. I have a lot to say, but words don't speak enough. I am not defined by words, so what gives me a reason to talk? I bet you are wondering why I am still here, and how come I didn't die when I escaped Gardenia. Well, I am going to get there, but first, I want you to know that Gardenia is not perfect - it is a fictional world, based on your idea of perfection. People go there every day, some waste their lives away in that meaningless place - others find themselves and escape. You can make it out of Gardenia alive, but it will leave its mark on you.  
Fortunately for Alice, she escaped, and it worked out for the better. But my story is a bit different. A bit twisted. Don't expect a happy ending, or a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. If that's what you want to read, then you should click search, and find another story. This isn't your typical fairy tale.

So, the day that mad hatter explained our fate, I was terrified, holding my dear Alice in my arms for what felt like forever, when the Madhatter told us we would have to leave - we couldn't be together in Gardenia, due to the fact people can't love, and I was going to die in reality.

For a second, I thought he was going to free us from our burden of a love, or our ill fate. As I awaited his merciful reply, I looked at Alice, and the kind words seemed to die away on the Madhatter's lips. I knew I was going to sacrifice myself for her. Only she meant that much to me.

As he spoke his awful rule, it occured to me that he had never been in love. Or he would have known the feeling. He would have saw the look in our teary eyes, and sensed the pain in our tourtured hearts, forever bonded through melancholy and hopeful desires.

Those desires that tore us apart.  
They were the reason I hung myself.  
The reason I went to Gardenia in the first place.  
And most importantly, the reason why someone so lovely as Alice experienced true misery. 


	2. Chapter 2

So, the Madhatter had such an evil plan. He wanted to torture those who wished for perfection. Taking our vulnerablility, hope and submission, twisting it into a horrid display of fear and desperation, the Madhatter 'liberated' us. He gave us a new life. One too perfect to be anything but miserable. It is not that we find comfort in perfection, but that we are comfortable just wishing for it.

The love between Alice and I was forbidden - both in Gardenia, and reality. Why was fate so cruel to tempt me with something so beautiful? Something I wanted so bad. She was the most perfect display of imperfection, created to submit to her dreams, and make her way. I knew this girl was going to be someone, and that she did become.

She is now an author, writing about her time in Gardenia. I know her book was about Gardenia, because in the intro it says "A place of amazement and perfection can be nothing more than a deceiving tale of tragedy and anguish" Nothing defined Gardenia better that line right there. Those words make me shake with desire. Not desire to feel perfection, but to be with Alice in this imperfect world.

I am here today because the Madhatter wanted to give me a second chance at life. I wanted to die and he knew it. He would not give me one last wish, and I am here to live out the rest of my years, completely alone.

I bet you are wondering why I have not set out to find Alice. The answer is because I am miserable. She deserves to be happy, without someone like me. I am but a sadistic dreamer. I know my weaknesses, and I would try to shelter myself from things that tempt me. Things like Alice and her pure, innocent personality. I know she is one to submit, and I will not hurt her like that.  
I didn't choose to be who I am, and think what I think.

I didn't chose to fall in love.  
And I never wanted to be a being of malice and misery. 


	3. Chapter 3

I must learn to live without Alice. She doesn't need someone like me to bring her down. Humans, as despicable as they are, are very beautiful, horrifying creatures, full of malice and mizery and the ability to love. One thing setting Alice apart from the rest of them is that she cared. She saw me, and she didn't walk past me and forget - she stopped to see if I was okay. It's those kind of things that make me think that caring people have to deal with much worse things. If someone cares so much about someone so miserable, then they end up having to deal with that person. How I wish I could forget her and take her pain away. If only I could, but that wouldn't make me as imperfect as I am, and no matter what I've done to Alice, it was done with good intentions. I know that intentions don't make all the difference, but I am sure they can lighten the pain just a little. Just knowing the intentions of the people who have done such evil things could make so much difference. Maybe my resent for the Madhatter would turn to empathy. And my sorrow and self-pity to awareness and desire. If only I knew his intentions were good. If only they were good.

The most important thing that Alice made it out alive and happier than she was. I would like to think that was the Madhatter's intentions. And though it doesn't change what's been done, it changes the horrible feelings towards it. That, for me, is enough to let go. One day when I am proud of who I am, I will find Alice. Not for anything other than my own satisfaction, but it bothers me to wonder so much about how she is doing. 


End file.
